Bank Fees, Ouch!

I just got slapped with fees. To be fair, I'm sure I was notified of the new changes. That letter (from September) is possibly still sitting in my mail pile. But I just got hit with $10 for not keeping $1000 in my checking. And another $9 for my transactions ($.50 per transx). Geez, they're getting harsh. I wonder if they know, though. My first reaction (as with Chase) is to close the account. I have enough, and if you're going to be a pain in my backside, I don't need you. How does that help them? Do enough people not close their account and just hand over $20 in fees every month? Not in my lifetime. My other option I suppose is to consolidate accounts so I have a bigger buffer in there. But now they've gotten under my skin. I've had that account for like 10 years now and never once misbehaved with it, and this is how you treat me? Pfft.